Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I wonder-----
What did I do to deserve so much of You?

I still am instilled in the faith of my being                                              
That measures occasionally the limits of existence.
Fear, doubt,self-denial combine, join hands
And laugh together so as to mock at the depth
I've not yet reached                                                      
Sometimes I wonder.

Fleeting thoughts provoke fleeting moments
To rest on all that was once and is gone
And will probably come or may not arise at all.
Do You then come to assure me that, my fault
My thought was justified as was proclaimed
To give me back to myself?
Sometimes I wonder.